Permissible But Not Beneficial / the power of habit

As a new mother I have spent countless hours reading books on parenting, sleep training, potty training, blah blah blah, the list goes on. I suppose I am a book mom but in my mind there is no such thing as too many tools in my toolbelt. One of the BEST books I have picked up was The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.  The book opened my eyes to how habits are easily and often unintentionally formed and how hard they are to break. What has stuck with me is the idea of triggers. Almost every habit has a trigger. Think about that, what is your trigger?

It is about time to potty train my little love. We picked out a mini mouse potty today and two books about using the potty. Remembering my mama talking about potty training me using M&M's, I picked up a bag of M&M's as a reward for each time my little love uses the potty. But then, I started thinking about habits. After all thinking about what I have learned is what started this whole potty training prep. We are traveling this weekend and it is suppose to be easier to start a new habit after a change, like maybe traveling. My plan was to read potty books all weekend with my little love and get her super excited to go home and start a new good habit.  My plan also included using M&M's as a reward when forming a habit.  :/ oops.  This is a big time of learning; I am teaching my daughter how to be a big girl. What am I teaching her? What habits am I creating in her life?

I use to occasionally have a dear friend's little boy over to play. His mother is an inspiring women and definitely deserved child free time.  At the time I was not a mama and so we were having so much fun until he bumped his head, and tears started gathering up and streaming down  his rosy cheeks, and I felt unbelievably lost.  He was not hurt but definitely startled and without a mommy nearby to comfort.  What should I do!? I ran to the kitchen and grabbed my big box of Godiva chocolate truffles. That's right, I ran for chocolate. I opened the box in front of his eyes then told him that if he could be a big boy and dry up those tears then he could pick one chocolate, any chocolate, from Miss Lauren's truffle box. After that incident anytime tears came to his eyes, for whatever the reason, I gave him chocolate.  His mama did not do this so you can imagine her surprise when during a walk in the neighborhood the little boy said "I need to go to Miss Lauren's house, I have an ouchie, I need chocolate."  Busted. I was not only giving her son chocolate, I was teaching him that food was a comfort, food made him feel happier, and food makes all the ouchies worthwhile. Do you want to know what the worst part is? He did not have an ouchie. He had just spent a great day playing outside with his family. 

I don't know about you, but I may have cried "ouchie" a few too many times. I think sometimes we get confused in this world of instant gratification. After all, as a child of God, we believe that for every trial there are also blessings. Right? Why is it we think that a chocolate brownie is the blessing after a "hard day." A sweet a week is a treat, a sweet a day is a bad habit, even if we think it is deserved.  It may not be food, it may be alcohol or zoning out in front of the TV. Whatever the habit is that you have been permitted to develope, is it beneficial to your life? If not, what are the triggers? Recognizing them is going to be a huge help on breaking that habit. 

Want to know the best part?  The best way to defeat a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. Time with God is a GREAT habit.  And I am quite sure He can give you plenty more ideas.  If you can recognize your triggers then you can make your plan and be prepared the next time the triggers happen. I don't know about you but I deeply dislike running. At one point in my life I tried to replace the habit that occurred during afternoon boredome with running. I did not develop a healthy habit of running but I sure did find plenty of activities and extra time in God's word to keep me busy and not bored!  Now I am a mom and my schedule and triggers are completely different. Having that trigger awareness is not just helping me, it is even more so helping me be a great mommy. I am still going to tackle potty training but I no longer plan on rewarding my little love with M&M's. 

* caught eating cake in front of the Christmas tree *

She loves to read and I think this is a great opportunity to use God's perfect book as a reward and would very much appreciate children's bible recommendations! Her bible does not have pictures and she reads her Noah's Ark book every day. <3